I hate to admit it, but all the wind has gone out of my sail about my whole little "save the world by putting my children in corrupt institutions" theory. It sounded nice but I don't think that's what this is really about.
Maybe it's really just about me being spiteful and I'm trying to not be so spiteful anymore, so let's talk about something else.
a-Ha! Song lyrics. :-)
I love this song, the lyrics are so complicated and intriguing. What do you think the message is? Or is it nonsense?
Shall I shy down?
that's boring, snoring
I'd like to
teach me to
sing in perfect harmony
And I'd like to
change the world.
It's easier than changing me
And I'd like to
find one girl
who knows me
Strum bang the drum aloud or put it down
and figure out if I'm out of line
Sit around and figure out if I'm wasting time
Wait for the sign
It's time to shine (shine) shine (shine) shine
Wait for the sign
It's time to shine (shine) shine (shine) shine
Why should I
sh-shy down?
how are you? fine.
Why should I
sit around
and be dead and never shine
It's the giant so defiant
But I'm happier if I can sleep
If I wake though, volcano
Fee Fi Fo
Fum bang the drum aloud or put it down
and figure out if I'm out of line
Sit around and figure out if I'm wasting time
(Chorus)
Living (living) fire (fire)
under my assets
I'd like to (I'd like to)
I try to (I try to)
tread tritely, so slightly
When the forest
is before us,
but we can't see for all the trees
That's when they fall,
that's when I call
The good Paul Bunyun
bang the drum aloud or put it down
and figure out if I'm out of line
Wait for the sign
It's time to shine shine shine
Wait for the sign
It's time to shine shine shine
We're out of line
It's time to shine shine shine
Wait for the sign
We're gonna shine shine shine
I've been thinking, I really don't like who I'm becoming. Or who I've become. All of the sudden it's hit me just how much I've changed for the worst this year. Do you ever find it absolutely impossible to rationalize your own behavior? That's how I feel. Why did I make all the choices I did? Why do I put myself across the way I do? There are always emotional and phychological reasons but that's not what I'm looking for, I'm looking for some shred of truth in me that does things for real reasons and not just to meet emotional needs or live up to my personality.
Tied in with that I'm realizing that grace and forgiveness are just one side of the coin, and the other is our hard and fast duty to obey God weather we understand or not. I'm really confused as I've been trying to read through the Old Testemant because I thought I had God all figured out, but then I realize I really don't understand anything he does. I guess I was thinking of him as a good humanitarian instead of an almighty force, like the one who sent that incredible thunderstorm recently. On one hand I wish he was who I want him to be, and on the other I actually have a new fear of God that makes me worship him more.
I think that contrary to what I used to think, the important things in life are those which make us feel SMALL and make God seem BIG and way beyond us. Our goal is not to understand him, our goal is to obey him.
That's over a long period of time, several years. So I wouldn't say she changes it regularly. But yes, you can change it.
ReplyDeleteOH!!! THAT'S where you guys met!!!
ReplyDelete*gets it* sorry. brainded still. but it's over now. I'll be back tomorrow. right now it's ice cream time......
Well I'll say one thing Crystal, being an optimist about the rest of the world and a pessimist about yourself is better than the other way around! Still, it's not good to be so hard on yourself, you're right.
ReplyDeleteBingo, I think we've got it figured out. Good comes through Christ while the bad wells up from our sin nature. Or at least almost figured out. That may be one of those duplexes (is that the right word?) in the Christian faith that we just have to accept without understanding.
Ice cream! That sounds good. :-P
I see myself as moving through time and not vice versa. It's not something I've thought much about, but good question. I'm going to transfer it to a new post.
Yes, Kacy. I met Em, Lucy, Lindy, Beth, and various younger siblings at Junior Camp. I go to Pastor Harris' church and have been for almost a year now. I've been playing off and on in Sunday services there, and he asked if I could play for chapel at Junior Camp. I bunked with the aforementioned girls and they were surprised at how well I fit in to their group and kept starting their sentences with 'When Crystal joins our blog group....' The closest thing I said to that was one sentence starting 'If I join your blog group...' which they all corrected immediately to 'WHEN!'
ReplyDeleteDo you mean paradoxes, Em? Or dualities? Dual-somethings? Duplexes are a type of housing, as far as I know. I wasn't aware of them being part of the Christian faith. ;-)
By the way, my current plans for Teen Camp are to go over to Mazama on Sunday afternoon with my dad to help unload some food and stuff and stay the night instead of coming back with him, so I won't be in the carpool going over from JCC on Monday.
Oh sad. :( But you'll be there when we get there!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI can't wait to hear you play. ;)