Today I saw a scrapbook that said "life makes the best story."
And I started wondering weather or not this was really true. Because a good story has to have conflict and resolution, and while life has pleanty of conflict, it is often lacking in resolution. What resolution we do find never lasts for long. There is always more conflict that comes up later, and then we forget about the things that are already resolved and they have to be resolved all over again. And also, resolution isn't usually very climatic. It often comes just by thinking things through or by listening to someone else talk. Or, perhaps even more frequently, resolution comes by being so confused that you give up trying to figure things out and they simply fade into the past, and you realize in hind sight just how small and insignifcant your "giant" problems really were.
Not very much like a story at all.
So I am starting to find it a very strange thing that people try to put snippets of humanity into two hour movies or describe feelings in three and four minute songs. Even a book, with it's limited number of pages and cover drawings and footnotes, can never quite capture anything close to reality. But it occurs to me now that capturing reality isn't exactly the point. The whole reason art is so important to us is because it makes life look like more than it really is. And that's how we start to view our own lives- as stories with plots and heroes and other characters, or as songs with music videos.
Or at least that is how it is for me.
Reality and I have never gotten along well, I'm afraid. I'm just never quite sure what kind of a story mine will be in the end. I'm not sure if I want to be the hero, the victim, or the lovely Mrs. Right. I'm not sure if it should be a fairy tale, a soulful exposition of a girls thoughts and feelings, or an epic struggle pitting good vs. evil. I'm not sure if it should be poetry, prose, or something no one has ever heard of before. But I do think that if this story ever were to be told, it would take on a life that is bigger than my reality ever will be.
This is a horrily pretentious blog post. I want to write another one.
rotfl you make me laugh! but really, I think you're on to something here. it's like "reality TV." There's nothing real about it. But we all are in love with it and go beyond wishing our lives could be like stories or books - we try to make our lives more like the stories we love.
ReplyDeletewhich is difficult when you love so many different kinds of stories. it's how I can be desperately in love with five different characters at the same time. so we're all heading for a romantic, adventurous, epic battle with comedy and seriousness and struggles and victories all mixed in.
and we wonder why our lives are roller coasters. :P
maybe, the only difference between teenagers and adults, is that adults have learned to either ignore the roller coaster, or have accepted is as life and buckled in; while us teens are still wildly fighting it.
I don't know. life is extremely confusing. and I personally never cared for rides.
oh dear emily, your posts are so thought filled that by the end of reading them, I really don't know what to say. It's quite anoing, really.
ReplyDeleteOh roller coasters, sometimes I miss the innocence of childhood. No more smooth ride anymore. Its funny, I used to think my life was somewhat special with the circumstances. I changed my mind. The details may be different, but it is just as much an adrenaline rush as anybodies. Perhaps the the details are just a lot different than a lot of peoples. But there I go rambling my thoughts and repeating myself.
ReplyDeleteSomething I had to bring myself to except is, there is never going to be a moment in time where there isn't some sort of pain or hurt going on. Scary thought to me. But it is how you deal with it and Who you live through t for. :-)
Yes, maybe I should post every day. That would be better.
ReplyDeleteI disapeared to school, but now I'm back! yay! I disapear again come the 5th.