thoughts on existance

It has been a long day and a long time since I last wrote about anything, so I give you fair warning that this could very well be long and rambling and too philosophical for my own good (or yours). That being said, I have been thinking about the question, "What is it to be human?"

Considering this, I realize I've started in the wrong place in my attempt to question the meaning of life in one all-encompasing breath. To get to the root of the matter, however, I have to step inside my worldview- something I'm learning not to be afraid of doing. So I'll go ahead and ask the question and assume that it's the most fundumental question conserning existance I could ask: "What is it to be God?"

This is a mind-blowing thing to consider, because God is outside everything tangable. In the blank, black canvas of EXISTANCE there is God, and then in a one-inch straight line in the middle of the canvas is Time, in which exists the entirety of humanity and substance. This is easy enough to grasp when using the right imagry, but what happens if you try to take God away? Then existance folds in on it's self and we have to try to imagine that NOTHING ever happened or was. Which is inconceivable to us. So where did God come from? Does He ever wonder how He got there? To be omnicient, He must understand why He exists. And while that's a line of thought I, for one, can't follow through on, it's enough to consider that God relies on nothing to define Himself or His purpose in existing. He is not only self-sustained but self-defining, which I think is interesting, because everything else in the universe is ultimately defined by it's relationship to something greater than it's self.

So what is it to be God? It is, in a word, to self-exist. To be the end of the line of dependency and proof; to be the only thing in the universe that is only dependent on and proven by itself.

On a sidenote, how incredibly blessed are we that this God is wise, just, clear, and good? Had he been any different, the entirety of creation would have been vastly different- He could have made us all so miserable, and yet He chose (and chooses) to self-exist in a way that is beautiful and perfect for the cause of humanity. I find this totally mind-blowing! In a world where evil seems to prevail the vast majority of the time, the ultimate end and beginning of the universe is intrinsically... good. Wow! (I'm not sure that I'm on track here with this line of speculation; it's just a thought- but something to think about for sure.)

That being established, the question of what it is to be human becomes very easy to answer. God created us out of His own self-existance basically because He wanted to- because He decided that existance was good and in line with His character. In that sense, humans do serve a purpose just by existing. This includes both those who live for Christ and those who don't.

I'm really, really thankful, however, that my ultimate purpose in life is not just to exist. Because if that's the case, I may as well park myself on the couch and do nothing for the rest of my life. But this is not the case. I was called out of many, for reasons infathomable to me, to live a higher life with a higher purpose- glorifying God not just with my existance but with my heart, my soul, and my strength. To do this, I have to be working constantly within the framework of truth provided by the Bible- working to sharpen my capacities so that I can live better for Christ in every conceivable areana of life. And I've got to do this with the reckless abandon that shows I really believe it is THE only purpose to existing.

So in answer to the original question, to be human is just to exist. To be a Christian, that is to exist with purpose- one that will take a lifetime to fufill. At that, I can only marvel at the goodness of God and the beauty of the task before me.

I recently found a passage in Jeremiah in which the prophet starts to complain, in a very respectful way, about his life, which is feeling totally devoid of purpose to him. "Woe is me, my mother, that you bore me, a man of strife and contention to the whole land! I have not lent, nor have I borrowed, yet all of them curse me." (15:10) In verse 19, God answers him like this: "If you return, I will restore you, and you shall stand before me. If you utter what is precious, and not what is worthless, you shall be as my mouth. They shall turn to you, but you shall not turn to them."

This was absolutely incredible to me because it was as though God was saying, "Cheer up, your life is full of purpose. You are my servant, what could be more purposeful than that?"

So true, isn't it?