It's a funny thing, this blog. It means way too much to me to have somewhere where I can say whatever I want and people HAVE to listen. Or at least I can think they are listening even if they really arn't, which is fine too.
I have been re-thinking my plans to run away to the oposite side of the world when I'm done with school. I don't think my motives are as noble as I used to think. I think I just want to express my independence and prove that I can do whatever I want with my life. Which isn't really a godly attitude. I'm trying to figure out if there is anything in me that trully cares about people who are starving, and if so, does that justify my going? There has got to be a balance here between sitting around pinning after a husband and just trying to get attention and glory for myself. I'm developing a bad habit of making a lot of motion and noise in my life to shut out the things that are really bothering me rather than taking them straight to God.
Praying for guidence is sticky, uncertain business. I'm never sure where the answers are really comming from. For now I'm just going to focus on trying to serve selflessly around here, which ironically seems much harder than living in a shack feeding starving people.
Does anyone else ever struggle with the apparent meaninglessness of our lives? I mean, all we do is eat and sleep and work and entertain ourselves, and then we start all over again... it's so discouraging sometimes. It makes me want to scream and break out of the trend, but I kind of suspect it's impossible to do that while staying a mortal human being.
But that's definitely one of those things that's easier said than done...
ReplyDeleteRemember that question in the shorter catechism? What is man's chief end? Man's chief end is to glorify God and to enjoy him forever. We need to remember that our lives are primarily for God's glory. And if we do something to glorify God then we should be happy. :D
ReplyDeleteAhhh yes. As just being lowly mortals here, its hard (well, impossible) to fully live our entire lives out to the Lord.... sadly.
ReplyDeleteI think it's vitally important to keep in mind that God does NOT expect perfection from us. Some of the "best" Christians I know live really rough-around-the-edges kind of lives, and have major struggles, but what I admire so much in them is that they give 110% to the Lord, even and especially when it's very hard to do so. They have a lot of courage and are always trying to change for the better - and most often to change themselves before they worry about changing others.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, it's inspiring to me that God doesn't want perfection; He wants 110% and courage to do the hard things when He asks. It's like the 10 Commandments - they aren't there for us to follow them perfectly and thus live a sinless life, because that's impossible. They are there to show us right from wrong and our need for a Savior.
Just my thoughts.....
:)
Oh and I just wanted to add (about the apparent meaningless of life), all of our independent human plans are eventually going to turn out to be meaningless if we're not seeking to glorify God in them. But these "inspiring" Christian people I was talking about aren't like super-Christians or anything....like I said, they're rough-around-the-edges, they have normal (and sometimes extremely boring) jobs. The only difference is that they truly seek God and try to please Him in what they do. It requires some kind of consciousness of what you're doing and why you're doing it, that I haven't mastered yet. But I think it's some sort of clue. Normal people can have not only meaningful, but incredibly impactful lives. These few people have had a huge impact on me as a Christian and as a person, and most of them time they didn't even know it. Don't underestimate the impact of an "apparently meaningless life" just because you can't see results from it right away. Remember that our culture values instant gratification, but God works on His own schedule.
ReplyDeleteGood thoughts Verya, although I don't agree with everything, I agree with the general gist. And Nathan, excelent point. I have a hard time remembering that sometimes.
ReplyDeleteWell, just that I do think living an upright moral life is more important than having any kind of great passionate or emotional relationship with Christ. I mean, I understand that there are people like that, but I would hope they were on the path to correcting those "rough edges," not just accepting them.
ReplyDeleteMaybe that is what you meant though, I don't know.
On second thought, maybe both how you live and your personal relationship with Christ are equally important. You just can't substitute one for the other, you know? You would probably agree with that.
i was about to say the last two have been removed, was it to late for posting to be a good idea? ;)
ReplyDeletenever too late. :) I always write at night.
ReplyDelete