Lately I've been reading a book, who's title I'll refrain from mentioning, which has sparked lots of thoughts in my mind about feminism. The book takes a staunchly anti-feminism position, which for the most part I agree with- but I also think the writers take things a bit too far. Let's not forget that feminism is a ditch on one side of a the road, and there is a ditch on the other side which consists of the abuse, objectification, and demoralization of women. Our culture seems to call to us loudly from both of these ditches, sending a confusing and frustrating message to our girls and creating women who are equally overbearing and insecure... and also (dare I say it?) largely unhappy.
As Christian women I believe we are called, like Bunyan's Christian, to walk through the narrow pathway between these two lions (feminism and objectification), and it is with fear and trembling that I set out to teach my daughter how to do this. Of course the only real hope we have is to keep our eyes fixed on the light of the Word, as "a lamp to our feet and a light to our path."
One of the things that really bothers me about a lot of Christian literature on this subject is the vague idea that the ONLY place a woman can really fulfill her God-given identity as a women is in the home. I just don't see how this is supported in scripture. Single women can and should work. Women who are married without children may want to work and have every Biblical right to do so. Even women with children have no Biblical mandate to be home with them ALL the time. Literature supporting the idea that staying home with one's children is the source of all happiness for women paints a very bleak picture for those who can't live this way, either because of an unsaved husband, financial difficulties, or the inability to have children.
God does give directives for women in scripture, which every girl ought to begin studying as soon as she is old enough to understand. We should be nurturers, living with an attitude of service not just towards men, but towards EVERYONE around us. We should have gentle and quiet spirits. We should speak with the law of kindness on our tongues, and allow our presence to be a softening influence on society. We should accept our status as the weaker vessel, and we should not take up positions of leadership over men within the church. As we get older we should seek to teach and instruct younger women. We should look for ways to beautify and brighten the world around us. It is THESE things that make up my identity as a woman, and that allow me to find true peace in fulfilling the calling God has given me to do. In my case they happen to work themselves out within the sphere of home life, but let's not over-glorify that... true Biblical womanhood can also take place in an office, at college, in the mission field, or anywhere else that God may call a woman to go. We don't need husbands and children to be women after God's own heart!
I do hear this message from time to time in Christian culture, but not as much as I think I should. I can't help wondering if part of the reason our girls struggle so much with purity is because we put marriage on a pedestal where it does not belong. Don't get me wrong- it IS wonderful. I have found the greatest earthly joy I have ever known within the context of marriage and submission to a Godly man. But that is only earthly joy, and there is a joy still greater... the joy of knowing that "as He stands in victory, sins curse has lost it's grip on me- for I am His, and He is mine." Hallelujah! It is for THIS that we strive. Nothing else will ever fully satisfy- not even marriage, not even children. We waste too much time thinking we would be happy if only __________.
Of course the ditch on the other side of the road is thinking that there is no value in being a stay-at-home wife/mother, and I think this lie is just as damaging and destructive. You really have to be crazy to think motherhood is a demeaning roll, because it takes a ton of energy and strategic planning and brain power to make it all happen. I also find it strange that people don't see how deeply meaningful and wonderful it is, when you are literally THE biggest influence upon one or more human lives, which has a snowball effect beyond what we can even fully imagine.
So- I do plan to teach my daughter how to cook and clean and play hostess for a crowd. I will teach her to respect and admire women who thrive within the context of home life, but I will teach her to look forward eagerly to whatever God may have in store for her. I hope this will strike a good balance between the two extremes of our culture and allow her to find true contentment in the life God has for her. Oh, what a delicate, tricky business it is to be a woman these days... and yet what a wonderful calling!
