Lessons from Working (Outside the Home)

What a week this has been! There are two major things on my mind today, causing so many realizations and revelations that I don't know how I'll manage to capture them all. It seems God often works this way- bringing me though long stretches of desert land until suddenly I stumble into an oasis of learning and growing, although usually it doesn't feel quite like an oasis at first.

First of all, I spent the last three days working outside the home for an (albeit small) paycheck at a co-op function, providing childcare for nine two-and-three year olds. I'm not really sure what motivated me to take this position in the first place, except for maybe greed and selfish ambition, but in the end I'm very glad I did. I've never been so appreciative of what my husband does by going to work for eight hours every day, or so thankful for the ability to stay home with my children!

And it's not that it was a miserable experience- in fact it was quite liberating and empowering to realize that the skills I've picked up in the last two years of motherhood are actually marketable and also very valuable to moms and kids alike. But it was completely exhausting. And completely overwhelming coming home every day to find that the cheerios spilled on the floor at breakfast were still there, the beds still unmade, dinner unprepared, and laundry unwashed.  Those of you moms who do work outside the home on a daily basis: my hat is off to you. I can hardly imaging having the kind of energy to keep up with it all!

As someone who has often struggled with the roll of Stay At Home Mom this was exactly the kind of reality check I needed. I recognize now that staying home with one's children is an incredible gift, both to give and to get. The children in my care for the last three days needed constant love and attention, constant affirmation and encouragement. And really what they wanted most was mommy, as expressed in loud, heartbreaking periods of sobbing throughout the day. (Happily all of the kids I watched are in homes where they do get to stay home with Mom most of the time!) I am so thankful that I have the opportunity to provide my children with a bubble of safe, affirming love and gentle direction while they are in these formative years. I'm so thankful that our lives are peaceful and not chaotic. I'm so thankful that I can focus 100% of my energies on guiding the formation of their characters while there is still time to do so. God has been good to us in this way.

Furthermore, this experience somehow brought me to the realization that childcare is difficult, dynamic, and high-skill level work. My helpers were all teenagers who had some level of experience in the childcare industry (even if it was just with their own siblings) and I was astounded at the knowledge and aptitude they demonstrated. Truthfully some of them were more competent than I was. It made me realize that not everyone knows what to do when a child falls and gets hurt, or starts choking, or has a completely emotional breakdown- but I do, because I'm a mother. A robot could not do my job for me, nor is there anything mundane, superficial or demeaning about this work. It is an encouraging thought for me.

I recognize that not all mothers have the opportunity to stay home, and I certainly don't think it's sinful for women to work outside the home. I know God will provide for each family and each child in His own perfect way, and there's no one-size-fits-all plan for family management. I'm just saying this is the best way for us, and I dare even say it's probably the best way for most families, as long as finances allow.

Well, my time is gone and I didn't even get to talking about the Proverbs 31 study I've been doing with Good Morning Girls this week. Perhaps I'll come back to that tomorrow. But today thankfulness will be my mantra as I go about catching up on laundry, bills, and cleaning. It might be exhausting work but it's oh so worth having a cozy, unhurried home to enjoy with my family this evening!

Acceptance for Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner?

I don't usually pay much attention to the news, other than scrolling my Facebook feed and listening to KIRO radio here and there. But there have been a couple of news stories lately that have caught my attention, and I've done a bit of reading in the blogosphere and elsewhere to get caught up to speed. I'm talking about the picture on the cover of Vanity Fair magazine of Bruce Jenner as a woman, and the recent so-called "scandal" involving the Duggar family.

Mostly, I've been noticing the reactions of Christians to these events.  And with a few exceptions, I've been a little confused about what I've seen. I've seen several blog posts from Christian writers emphasizing the need for love and acceptance when it comes to a transgender person having a sex change and coming out as a woman on the cover of a trashy magazine. And I've seen condemnation and anger towards a Christian family due to the sexual abuse their son openly admits to having inflicted on a handful of girls when he was 14 years old, despite his broken, humble, and honest confession and repentance- and the fact that this all happened over ten years ago. 

I understand these reactions, I really do. We don't want to be too harsh towards a sinner like Bruce Jennings who is outside of our ranks, nor do we want to be too accepting of a sinner inside our ranks, lest we all look like a bunch of bigoted hypocrites. And I'm not saying that we should run around writing harsh, demeaning articles about Bruce Jenner while ignoring the sins of Josh Duggar (which is the ditch on the other side of the road that I've also seen recently). 

Friends, this is sin we are dealing with here. Sin is a dark, serious, heavy matter. When faced with sins like these, we should not respond with sarcasm (as one very prominent Christian blogger has done), nor with accolades, nor with contempt. We shouldn't use sin to tout some agenda or to prove a point. 

There is only one appropriate reaction to sin, and that is sadness- sadness that comes with an understanding of the old phrase "there but for the grace of God go I." 

We should be sad when we see a man giving up his God-given identity and changing it for a lie. We should be sad when we hear about a boy within the church falling into gross and inexcusable behavior. 

But there is one major difference between these two situations, and that difference is the point upon which the whole Gospel hinges. One of these men has repented of his sin. He has gone to God and to those he has hurt and cried out for forgiveness. He has done everything in his power to rehabilitate himself and to make sure he never makes the same mistakes again. And more importantly than all of this, his soul has been washed clean by the blood of Jesus Christ, in whom he places all of his hope.

The other man has not repented. Rather, he is glorying in his sin. He is on the broad path leading to destruction, tragically deceived by a world who is giving him a standing ovation for his courage in indulging his sinful tendencies. Christians, we cannot be found among those clapping in that crowd. The very souls of those around us may depend on it. We are called to be wise as serpents and gentle as doves, and in that manner we must take a firm stand against this bold and un-repended-of sin.

Yes, Christ preaches a message of love. Yes, he preaches a message of condemnation towards sin. But we have missed the whole point if we start emphasizing only the love part towards those who are not putting their faith in Christ, and emphasizing only the condemnation towards those who have. It's as simple as that: repentance and faith make all the difference. Otherwise, sinners are just sinners and we ought all to be condemned along side both of these men. 

So yes, we should not be without love towards Bruce Jenner. But love and acceptance are very different things- Christ was big on love, not big on acceptance outside of a saving relationship with Him. 

But because of God's grace, there is hope! And for that, there is much reason to rejoice along with families like the Duggars, who have seen the grace of God adamantly at work in their eldest son. For my part I'm happier than ever to support this family and I feel deeply for what they have gone through in the last couple of weeks. I hope the Christian community will rally around them in this difficult time, as I know many already have. The media is a cruel and heartless thing! As for Bruce Jenner, I hope we will all remember to pray that the same grace may one day be evident in him. After all, there is no sinner so sinful he is out of the reach of Christ!

Ode to a Friendship

This is my cousin Bethany (and one of her sisters), in the back of her family's suburban as she leaves her childhood home on the way to her wedding. This happened last Friday, and she and Samuel have been married for just short of one week now. It was (obviously) a beautiful occasion, and now they are traveling for their honeymoon before heading home... to California. My heart is full as I think about that day, watching one of my very closest childhood friends put on a wedding dress and with it assume all the responsibilities, challenges, and graces of independent adulthood. There is no doubt in my mind that she is completely ready for this, I just don't know if I am! 

Change is an inevitable part of life, but there are certain things that you never expect change to touch. This was one of them for me. Due to the risk of emotional breakdown, I will refrain from mentioning any of the zillions of memories I have shared with this girl over the years. She's put up with so much from me (as any of our parents will tell you!) and has always been there to deliver a much-needed dose of common sense and to sympathize with every little thing I might be feeling. 

As I've grown up in basically the same place for most of my life I've had the strange experience of watching many of my closest friends leave. In some ways I envy them their adventures, and in some ways I just want it all to go back to the way it was. 

But I am thankful for confidence in the fact that whenever life does cause our paths to cross again, we will be able to pick up right where we left off. I have quite a few people in my life like that, and I know that this makes me very rich indeed- even if my riches are a little bit scattered!

And with all of this sadness, I can honestly say that NOTHING makes me happier than to see the people I love faithfully following the Lord into whatever He has for them, especially when it makes them so very happy. So here's to you, Beth, for so gracefully and bravely stepping into this new and exciting life. May it be everything you dreamed it would be and more!